Ten Second Illusion
by LemonGin
Summary: They all agreed that they would never fight over a girl again, Logan was happy because the 'girlissue' was gone and he hoped that none of these issues would appear again. But his hopes are being destroyed in this moment. Kogan James/Logan?
1. Chapter 1

**_Ten Second Illusion _**

-A Big Time Rush fanfiction-

**Chapter 1**

He actually never intended to be in this band. On top of that a boyband. How 90's is this? But he did it anyways. He could never imagine being without Kendall. Of course, life without James and Carlos would be boring and a less nice, but he would've survived. But without Kendall, what reason could he have to keep living? It's not like he was in love with him (at least he thought so). Just the fact that if Kendall wasn't there anymore, made Logan sad. He could talk with is buddy about everything, even serious issues. Even if it was silent between them, it wasn't an uncomortable silence. It just felt right being with him. There really wasn't a person who could make him feel so relaxed, happy and content as his best friend, Kendall.

The day when Jo appeared, Logan thought they would look good together and he thought he had a crush on her. Logan hated it, how Kendall was looking at her. Was he jealous of him? He thought he was and tried snatching her away. How wrong this thought was. Yes, he was indeed jealous, but not of him. Later, when they all agreed that they would never fight over a girl again, Logan was happy because the 'girlissue' was gone and he hoped that none of these issues would appear again. Especially not for Kendall.

But his hopes are being destroyed in this moment.

He stands there, hearing Kendall say excitedly"Jo and I are dating now! Great, isn't it?"

Logan stands there, he feels like blood stopps running thorugh his veins and that the stoppage of the pumping makes him go unconsious. Unfortunatly, it doesn't. He hopes to see the black, but instead he keeps staring at Jo and Kendall. He feels sick, like vomiting. This view seems surprisingly disgusting to him.

"WOW! That's- just- AWESOME, guys!", shout Carlos and James. They begin asking questions such as "How did this happen" and "How does it feel to be girlfriend and boyfriend?" James even tells Jo "If you ever get tired of this guy, my door's always open", but in a joking way.

All in all, these two are happy for Jo and Kendall and they decide to throw a party especially for them.

Logan isn't sure what to feel. Actually he can't think at the moment. Still staring at the spot where Jo and Kendall stood, he is unable to move or to say anything.

Kendall leans in front of Logan's face and looks him straight in the eyes. Maybe it's a little too close.

"Logie, everything alright with you?", Kendall asks worried and puts his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders.

Logan startles up and his blood seems to run again. And how it runs. When he feels the big hands on his shoulders, he warms up and feels electrified. He looks surprised at the other's eyes as if he had had a vision like a freaking fortuneteller.

"What..?", he asks confused.

"Well you have been kind of spacing off and you looked really pale. I mean, you are already really fair, but you looked freaking white!" Kendall looks concerned. "Do you want to vsit the doc?"

"No, no, everything's okay." Logan is still a little confused. Kendall seems to be calmed down and exhales. Logan smiles at the fact that his best friend has been worrying about him so much that he almost forgot to breath. This thought makes him really happy and he feels like hugging the bigger boy.

"So what do you think of me and Jo dating?"

Logan's smile disappears at once. When he notices that, he quickly puts up a fake smile. Kendall doesn't notice the change.

"I really feel happy for you two! You really, really, really, really look cute together." Logan forgot when to stop saying really. He thought that once wouldn't be that convincing. So maybe four times would.

Kendall's eyes begin to sparkle and he pushes his best friend into a quick hug. Logan wishes, that it would last longer than 1,4159 seconds. At the same time, he feels that someone is staring at them, at _him_.

"We're going to throw the party today evening! I invited everyone, let's go get something to drink and eat!", Carlos says excited and grabs his helmet as he sprints out happily mumbling something about buying tons of yellow cupcakes.

James grabs Logan's wrist "Come on, brain! Someone has to buy something to drink, since Carly won't think of anything but food. Let's buy some +21 stuff, too!"

Logan gasps. "No, no, no we can't, James! We're_ underage_! This- this is illegal! Do you know what that means if we buy these drinks?" Logan totally freakes out by just thinking of breaking the law.

"No, what does that mean?"

"It means, that we do something illegal!"

"Come on, Logie! We won't be catched, there's that super sweet chick, who thinks that I am the same age as her, which is 22! She will certainly sell this stuff to us! Come on, you never do something risky!"

"Actually, I DO! Everytime I'm around you guys! Really, I've gotta get new friends" He mutters the last part, but James knows he doesn't mean it that way. So they go off and buy drinks.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**This is my first fanfiction ever. Please give me improvement suggestions, I really need them :D But I'll be even happier about good feedback :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ten Second Illusion **_

-A Big Time Rush fanfiction-

**Chapter 2**

_Auhtor's Note: Here's Chapter 2 of Ten Second Illusion! I hope you like it! I think it's okay. I love how James calls Logan 'Brain' xD Reviews are like yellow cupcakes!_

_Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is owned by the rightful company. Not mine, unfortunatly. _

So there he is. On the party, where they celebrate that Kendall got a girlfriend. Correction: On a party where they celebrate that Kendall got his girlfriend of his dreams. Great. It's not that Logan isn't happy for Kendall and Jo. Well, correction again: Not that Logan doesn't want to be happy for Kendall and Jo. He just can't. He's sitting on the couch where Kendall and he always watched movies, talked or played something. Now Logan looks at the spot where his best friend is supposed to sit and looks over where he is sitting now. Of course he's with Jo. Something inside Logan hurts. It hurts more than the time when Carlos hit him with his bicycle or when Carlos ran him over and he fell out of the window from second floor or when Carlos hit his jewels with his hockey stick. Now that he thinks about his painful experiences, he realizes, that ALL of them have something to do with Carlos. While swallows a little more beer he decides, that he should keep a distance of at least 5 meter (about 16'4") of him.

"Brain!", James shouts. "Why are you just sitting there? Let's have some fun! Come on, we got to talk to these hot chicks!", he says and points at two girls, who Logan saw in a commercial for yellow cupcakes once. Carlos loves this clip.

"Naah, I'm fine. I don't really feel like flirting tonight.", Logan refuses politely, but firmly.

"Okay, then let's just party without girls!" James smiles and sits down next to Logan, where Kendall used to sit. He offers him a bottle of beer, which Logan accepts. Then, they're silent. The silence doesn't feel akward, but it doesn't feel good either.

"I wonder, what is wrong with her." James breaks the silence.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean Jo. I'm just curious why she chose Kendall over me. I mean, look at me! I'm so much more handsome than that guy." Logan wants to protest, but James keeps talking. "Every girl should choose me when she has the choice between me and every other guy! It's not that I like Jo, but I'm seriously worried! She should go check her mind at the doctor's. Really, something's definetly wrong with this chick!" Logan chuckles. He's always amused by Jame's exaggerated vanity. Sure he was pretty, but he really overreacts way too much. James smiles when he sees Logan laughing. He knows that Logan finds it funny that he's always stating how handsome he is. Altough James doesn't understand what's so funny about the truth.

"James", Logan says still chuckling a bit. "Beauty lies in the observer's eyes! You will never understand, right?"

James frowns and crosses his arms. "Are you trying to say that you don't find me handsome?"

Logan blushes. "I do find you handsome", he whispers.

He really thinks that James is pretty. His looks were the reason why he thought he was in love with him for a year when they were 14. This wouldn't be too surprising since James is famous for being the 'turn-over-guy' who turns every straight guy into a 'little-bit-not-so-straight-guy'.

James smiles satisfied and goes back to being silent like Logan. The brunette boy once again looks over to Kendall and Jo. They are sitting on the other side of the room but Logan follows every move they make. Holding hands. Exchaging flirty glances. Hugging. Kissing. Logan doesn't know what it is, but the pain in his chest is awful. He has to squirm a little and the pain is making his eyes tear up a bit. He feels James is looking at him and tries to restrain.

"Are you alright with this?", James asks bluntly as he's looking at his friend with a little angry expression.

"James, you should really break the habit of starting a conversation where the other part doesn't have an idea what you are talking about!", Logan says as he is trying to put a fake smile on his face. He tries to sound as normal as possible but his voice happens to be higher than usual.

"I'm talking about the whole Kendall got a girlfriend thing!"

"What?"

"You know what I am talking about.", James sighs. "Or maybe I just thought you should know because you are the brain here." Logan looks confused and doesn't know what to say. He has no idea what James is talking about.

"I'm saying, that you can't stand the thought that Kendall Knight has a girlfriend. I'm saying that you are in love with him!" The smaller boy looks doubting at him. As he is raising an eyebrow he asks him: "Are you kidding? That's not funny. Not even Carlos would laugh at this. And seriously, he even laughs about a boy in the internet who makes his voice super high-pitched."

"I'm not kidding, Logan. I can see how hurt you looked when he told us that Jo and him are dating. You got really pale and I really thaught that you would vomit every second. And now again! You are squirming and almost crying! You are the genius here, aren't you? Can't you count one and one together? It's so obvious that you are in love with him."

Logan is shocked. He? In love with _Kendall_? No way. He is straight! "I... I have to go now. I'm really tired... today was a... long day... " Still really shocked he runs to his bedroom which he shares with his _friend_ Kendall. Not even changing his clothes he jumps in his bed, eyes wide opened. What if James is right? What if he is really in love with his best friend? What if he is going to destroy their friendship?


	3. Chapter 3

_**Ten Second Illusion **_

-A Big Time Rush fanfiction-

**Chapter 3**

_**Author's Note**: Here's Chapter 3! When Logan grabs the latte macchiato, it's one of those you get at the supermarket. One like his: _(bit.)ly/9uHQK4_; [remove the brackets] omg, I love drinking , this is important (not really).And what's up with all the yellow food?well … ;) Also I invented the phrase 'nerding up', if it already exists, I'm sorry for abusing it..._

_**Disclaimer:** Big Time Rush is owned by the rightful company. Not mine, unfortunately. Also the 'popular science' magazine isn't mine either. Not really feeling the urge to own it anyways._

Logan is extremely tired when his buzzer begins to bleep. He spent the whole night thinking about Kendall and if he's in love with him. It all makes sense now, why he doesn't want Kendall to have a girlfriend, why he hoped that the girl issue would never be bought up again, why he is following Kendall's every move and why he enjoys spending time with him more than with every other person. And Logan does not like this at all. Now that his crush has a girlfriend, this realization doesn't help him very much. Logan's eyes are puffy and red, he suffers from a damn strong headache, he's outright tired and his heart hurts. All in all loving Kendall isn't such a pleasant thing.

He can hear something moving and yawning at the other side of the room. Kendall is stretching and smiling like a silly, happy dork."

"Mooorning, Logie!"; he greets his best friend. "Today is a wonderful day, isn't it?" Logan throws a pillow at Kendall, which shows that his response is probably 'no'. He stands up and is walking to the bathroom to fix his dark circles under his eyes. Kendall follows him and claps his butt when he enters. While they're brushing their teeth, he is looking worried at Logan.

"Haven't you been sleeping?", he finally asks after spilling out the water.

"Nyahh... Have been."

"But you look really tired", Kendall says and is putting his arm around the smaller boy's waist. Logan feels like the other day: his blood runs like it is trying to become world champion, his temperature rises and he feels electrified.

"I... I haven't been sleeping well, you know I had to think about one math exercise, I couldn't solve at once. Sooo, I thought about it the whole night. So don't worry, Kendall", Logan tries to calm Kendall down. He quickly finishes brushing his teeth and hurries back to the bedroom to change. Kendall slowly follows him and eyes him suspiciously.

"You needed one night to solve one math exercise?", he asks unbelieving. He doesn't that this makes Logan dumb, but it seems unusual for him to think about a math problem a whole night. He needs half an hour for the hardest math problem at most. Logan silently changes into a white T-shirt, a green cardigan, blue jeans and green/white sneakers. "What do you know about my problems...", he mutters when he exits, leaving a confused Kendall behind.

He goes to the kitchen and grabs a latte macchiato from the refridgeator.

"Pancake?", Mrs Knight asks friendly and cheerful like always. Logan refuses and keeps drinking the macchiato while hoping that this would help him keeping his eyes open. Carlos wears a disgusting expression while he is watching him. "Eww, how can you drink this? I hate everything that tastes like coffee!" Such a child.

"Just keep eating your silly yellow pancakes, kid.", Logan snaps back.

"Wow, someone's in a bad mood today~", James chants.

"I'm going to the pool. You better not disturb me, because I'm going to take the new 'Popular Science' magazine with me." When Logan is reading his favourite magazine, you should really not disturb him unless you have a desire to feel pain.

"Logan!", he hears a voice behind him saying. He recognizes it is Jo's. She is lucky that he hasn't started to nerd up yet (to nerd up means reading really concentrated and interested in order to learn something).

"Good morning! Where have you been yesterday? You left so early... I hope everything is alright?" Logan wishes that she would just be a little bit less nice. She made it utterly difficult for him to hate her.

"Everything's OK, don't worry, Jo. I was just a little exhausted because we had a long day... Because I had a long day", he corrects, when he remembers that yesterday was their day off and Jo probably knew because she and Kendall became a couple like 14 hours ago.

"Oh.", she says, deciding not to ask why Logan still looks so tired. "So I see you are reading the ...'Popular Science'... Is it interesting?" She has never seen such a magazine, Logan knew by the way she pronounced the name of the magazine.

"You don't know this?", Logan asks as if this would be as bad as not knowing what color Pikachu has. "This is the best magazine of all times!"

"Really? I've seen Kendall buy one of these.", she apparently doesn't know that Logan is quite upset about someone ot knowing his _sacred_ magazine and smiles politely.

"That's because he's always buying me the newest edition." Logan sounds a little sad because Kendall might not have the time to get the 'Popular science' for him anymore. He probably won't have any time for Logan now that he's together with Jo. His schedule is full with Big Time Rush. If he has some spare time he will surely spend it with Jo or all of his four friends.

"Wow, isn't my boyfriend nice? I'll add that to the reasons why I like him _so much_. Jo says dreamily.

"Hey Jo, do you know what the fifth decimal place of pi is?"

"No, why should I?", She asks confused.

"Just because.", Logan lies. "I'll add that to the reasons why I think you are dumb.", he thinks. The young girl stands up and says goodbye nicely. Soon after that, James appears and sits down, next to Logan.

"Are you reading this magazine again?", he asks snobbishly. James doesn't like literature that isn't about hair, make up or fashion.

"Yes", Logan says sore. After Kendall and Jo, James was the last person he wants to see or talk. Last night, he pointed out, that Logan is in love with Kendall, making him go through hell. When Jo was there just a minute ago, he felt outright sad because she is the one Kendall wants to be with, she is the one Kendall wants to kiss and hug. She's the one Kendall loves and this is what makes Logan feel like someone is stabbing his heart with a knife and won't stop doing so. His expression changes from sore to tearily when he starts thinking about how he will never know the feeling of being loved by Kendall. 'Is this how all the heartbroken people in novels feel?', Logan asks himself. He is always hoping that books could help him, but he has never read one about a boy-boy-girl relationship. Well he read some boy-girl-boy novels, where the girl is the love interest. But how could he win against a girl, on top of that such a pretty and nice girl?

"Listen, Logan", James says "I'm sorry that I told you. But I think you had to know. So that you can stop loving Kendall. Even if I didn't tell you, you would've been hurt! Look, yesterday you were hurt as well, you only didn't know why! So I just hope that you can become happy and forget Kendall. Because if you continue having feelings for him, you will never become happy."

Logan thinks about what James just said and this stuff sounded quite true.

"So I should forget about Kendall?", he asks quitely with a shaken voice. "How can I forget my best friend? Don't forget that he is not only my love but also my friend..." Now his voice totally cracks and his eyes fill up with tears slowly.

"This is the main reason why you should keep a distance from him. I'm not saying that you should forget Kendall, I meant to say that you should give up the love you feel for him, not the friendship. You don't want to lose your best friend and your love at once, do you?", James asks him. He sounds really worried and thinks that this way is the best one for Logan to deal with the situation. He sobs and buries his head into James' chest. After a few minutes he is calmed down and leans against his shoulder.

"I wonder if I can have both. Friendship and love.", Logan whispers quitely but loud enough for James to hear. He doesn't like the look of his heartbroken friend and wants him to recover as soon as possible. He knows that having both friendship and love is possible, but he doubts that it can work out between one straight and one bisexual man.

"No, Logie, you can't. You have to choose between friendship and nothing."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Ten Second Illusion **_

-A Big Time Rush fan fiction-

**Chapter 4**

_Author's Note: In this chapter you will see why this story is called 'Ten Second Illusion'! _

_Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is owned by the rightful company. Not mine, unfortunately. _

It has been three weeks since Kendall and Jo became a couple. Three weeks ago, Logan realized that Kendall broke his heart and that he has to give up this love. For three weeks he has been ignoring the person his soul and body are craving for. All this time James has been a great friend. They spent so much time together and Logan realized what a great friend James is because he actually manages to make him forget about Kendall for a few minutes. But when he lies in his bed, he remembers again. Especially when his object of desire is sleeping only 11 feet away from him. It's not completely dark and Logan can hear how he is breathing. How calm he looks. He wishes that he could feel that calm as well, but there's a storm inside him. He is so upset. Every night it's the same. He is watching his best friend from far away and the tears begin to build up when he remembers that Kendall will never love him in return. In the morning, James notices how exhausted his best friend looks and knows that he hasn't been sleeping at all again. Then, he usually watches a movie with Logan to make him fall asleep, to make him sleep at least for two hours. But sometimes they have rehearses the whole day and he can't save Logan from Gustavo's screams and outbursts. Three weeks have been enough. Logan and James have been discussing things and decided that Logan and Carlos would switch rooms. He can't get over Kendall when they are living together in one room. So right now, they are packaging his stuff, when Kendall enters.

"What are you guys doing?", he asks, very confused. "Packaging.", James answers. Logan blushes and looks away. He can't look into Kendall's eyes now and continues ignoring him.

"And why are you packaging?", the blonde asks closing the door behind him as if he is scared that they would run away every second. James stops putting Logan's stuff into the box and looks at the brunette boy. "You didn't tell him anything, did you?", he asks in disbelief. After a few seconds of silence, James turns to Kendall. "Carlos and Logan are switching rooms. I wanted to try sharing a room with Logan", he lies. "He seems to be such an easy roommate. Carlos is such a drag, it's awful to share a room with him. He is so full of action, seriously, he doesn't know when to sleep!" This time, he is not lying.

"Can I talk to Logan possibly? Alone." Kendall opens the door gesturing James to leave. He thinks about it for a moment but decides to go out. It would be too suspicious if he didn't.

Logan is still packaging silently, looking down to the floor.

"Logan. Turn around." He turns around very slowly but he still can't look into Kendall's eyes.

"What is the real reason why you move out? And don't try to lie to me, you know I will notice if you lie. And why have you been ignoring me the past three weeks? Answer me!" Kendall frowns and is really mad at Logan. Now that he can finally look at Logan properly, he sees how skinny his best friend became. When his gaze is going back to Logan's red face, he finds him looking away again.

"I-I can't...",he stumbles and spins on his heel to walk out, but Kendall grabs his wrists and stops him from leaving. "Look at me, Logan. Did I do something wrong?" And then Logan raises his head and Kendall is finally able to look at him. He has never seen something so beautiful or something with so much vulnerability. Logan looks up at him with cheeks red as cherries and the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. They are red and teary and with so much emotion. He is biting his red bottom lip which is strangely and totally arousing Kendall to the extreme. His jaw drops. Since when is his childhood friend so sexy?

"Listen Kendall" Logan voice shows how broken he is. This again, breaks Kendall's heart. He can't stand his best friend being so sad. So he grabs Logan's head and pulls him into a long kiss. He is pressing his lips against his and ignores Logan's gasp. Kendall slowly pulls his tongue into his best friend's mouth and their tongues are dancing with each other with passion. Kendall has never felt this hot before and he didn't know that kissing could be this erotic and yet beautiful. It has never been like that with Jo._ Jo_. When he remembers his girlfriend, he pulls Logan away quickly. He has a girlfriend. And it's working so well between them. He can't destroy that. The brunette is looking confused at Kendall because of the sudden stop. But then his eyes are softening and they look like they did a few seconds ago, making Kendall's heart crack a bit.

"Why did you do that?", he asks looking away again, which is really annoying Kendall.

"I...", he pauses. "I don't know. But I have a girlfriend and I shouldn't have done it. It was an accident! Let's pretend it never happened." Somehow he feels regretful and wants to take it back what he said, but his mouth doesn't move. "It's okay.", Logan says. Kendall can hear that he is crying but he can't say anything because Logan quickly takes one of the boxes and says quickly and quietly:"I have to go now. I had a nice time with you as my roommate. Good night." As he is closing the door he puts down the box and slides down the wall and he feels like crying, but he can't. His brain stopped working when they kissed and half of it is still inoperative. _They kissed._ Sitting there on he floor, leaned against the wall, he promises himself that he will never ever forget those ten wonderful, stunning and beautiful ten seconds.

On the next morning, when they all have breakfast, their behaviours are switched. Kendall ignores Logan now whereas Logan tries to at least eye contact him at which he fails. When they are finished, he decides to talk to Kendall.

"What is up with you?", he asks.

"Nothing."

"But I can totally see that something is not alright with you.", he pauses for a few seconds and isn't quite sure if he should do it but takes the courage to confront Kendall with this topic. "Is it because of the kiss?" Logan immediately knows that he hit the bulls eye because Kendall's eyes widen and he gasps. "I I thought that we agreed that this never happened. You know, it's really going well between me and Jo, I don't need any drama, that by the way didn't even mean anything, that destroys my relationship.", Kendall says but he isn't even sure if the part about the meaninglessness is true.

His best friend doesn't know how to react. It meant so much to him and he thought that the same would go for Kendall. After all he kissed him like was about life or death.

In the end, it was just a ten second illusion. Meaningless ten seconds on top of that.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Ten Second Illusion **_

-A Big Time Rush fan fiction-

**Chapter 5**

_Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is owned by the rightful company. Not mine, unfortunately. _

This moment that Logan shared with Kendall was an illusion. At least Kendall wants it to be one. He wants to forget what happened, that he kissed Logan, that one hand was buried in is smooth, brown hair and the other was holding Logan's red and soft cheek. Kendall wants to forget that he quite enjoyed kissing and touching Logan. He is his best male friend and he has a girlfriend and whole thing is just _so_ wrong. In theory at least. Because it felt _so_ right. But Kendall Knight isn't a person who always chooses the right thing. Like the time when he had the choice between a green, fuzzy something and a hot dog. Well, for his defense, his mom always told him to eat green stuff instead of fast food. That was the last time he listened to her, which, by the way, might explain why he is so rebellious and doesn't like to listen to adults. Choosing the rotten something was definitely the wrong choice. And right now, is forgetting the right choice? Kendall hopes it is, but he isn't sure. After he tells Logan that the kiss didn't have any meaning, the smaller boy turns around with an expressionless face and goes to the direction of James' bedroom. Kendall sighs and goes to the opposite direction- he has a date with his girlfriend.

Logan came rushing in James' room. He didn't know why he went to his room and not to Carlos. Maybe because he couldn't talk to Carlos about serious matters? No that wasn't it. Actually they had talked about serious issues quite a few times, like the time when Logan's parents were about to divorce.

"Oh my god, what happened?", James asks shocked. He moves over to Logan and hugs him when he sees the tears that run down his cheeks. He strokes his head a few times and tries to calm him down. "Shh... Everything is gonna be okay. Don't cry, Logan, please. I hate seeing you like that." That might have been a lie, because just as Kendall he finds his friend incredibly beautiful like this. "Shit, I am such an ass. Such an sadist.", he thinks while licking his bottom lip. After a few minutes, Logan's sobs stop and he pulls out from the warm hug to wipe away the tears with his sleeve, which James finds strangely really cute. "You wanna talk about it?", he asks carefully. Logan is silent for a minute until he pulls out a heavy sigh. "Well, I guess I owe you an explanation after rushing here and crying my heart out..." Logan smiles sadly. "I would lie if I told you that I don't want to hear the story behind your crying. Because yeah, you do owe me an explanation", James chuckles lightly, showing his friend that he doesn't mean to force him to talk about it.

"Well, do you remember yesterday?", Logan clumsily begins to talk. "No, Logan, I don't remember yesterday. I am getting old and keep forgetting things that happened more than five minutes ago", he chuckles. Logan blushes and is angry with himself because he started with such a stupid question. "I meant, do you still remember when Kendall sent you out of our room? After you left, well he wanted to know what was wrong with me and I was just about to talk when he, well, kissed me." Logan must find his shoes very interesting because he can't stop staring at them.

"WHAT?", James screams surprised and angry. He can guess what happened next. "Yeah, it felt great how our lips matched like puzzle pieces and how he touched my cheek and-" "No details.", the taller boy grumbles with darkened eyes, which Logan can't see because well, his shoes are very pretty. "Ehm, but then, today he was ignoring me and acted like I was air so I decided to talk to him. But when we were talking he refused to tell me what was wrong with me. I know I am not in the position to ask him since I didn't tell him either before. Anyways, I asked him if it had something to do with the kiss." Logan paused. "Well, he told me that it was meaningless and that we should act like it never happened."

"He did not.", James hissed through his teeth, frowning. "I'm gonna... I'm gonna beat the shit outta this fucking bastard..." He stomps to the door, but Logan positions himself in front of it, not letting the other pass though it.

"It's okay, James! I think I am at fault for interpreting too much into the situation. And yeah, he is obviously straight. There is no way that this would work out, I read it in quite a few books and magazines that gay men can't get straights! This is proved with the statistics! Only 1 of 32 straight men turn to their own gender!" Logan and his reading obsession. James would've smiled at this if he just wasn't so fucking mad. "That's not an excuse! If he doesn't like you in that way, he should neither bring up your hopes nor fucking play with you! And I don't care what is written in these stupid magazines and books since the only literature that is worth reading is 'The Man Fashion'!" "It's one of the literature that are totally not worth reading!", Logan almost says because he doesn't want to fight with his friend at a time where he needs him the most.

"Calm down. Please. Fighting is the least I need right now." Logan goes across the room to fall into James bed and James knows he should really not find this so arousing but well the way that Logan's shirt is riding up and is showing a part of his happy trail is just so sexy, it should be illegal. James bites his lips and tries to calm down as Logan told him. The only difference is that two minutes ago Kendall was the cause of his uproar, now it's Logan. This cause is starring up to the wooden ceiling of James' room and starts tearing up while covering his mouth and nose with the back of his hand, trying to hide the soft sounds of the sobs. James quickly goes to his bed and leans over Logan, bracing his fists against the mattress, the two arms are on the left and right site of the small boy's head. "I'm sorry, Logan.", he whispers softly. "But I can't stand seeing you like this. I'm sorry for flipping out. I know you have bigger problems now. But everything is going to be fine, I promise..."

"Thanks, James", Logan sniffs, trying to sound like he doesn't. "You are a great friend." James smiles understandingly at Logan and pulls him into a hug. He has to pull himself together because he is _lying on top of Logan _without one millimeter distance (at least on their upper bodies... James' lower body is a little distanced from Logan's... Logan should not really notice 'that'.) and he can feel Logan's hot breath in his neck. But then Logan raises his leg a little, his knee touching James' erection softly. James immediately unbends and four eyes are widen in shock. After a few minutes of awkward silence Logan slowly asks with a high-pitched voice: "What... what was that?" "I... I was reading that magazine just before you came in... You know... _those _magazines... And, well I can't calm down really fast", James lies and obviously avoids looking at Logan. But Logan isn't stupid. He can tell that James is lying because he is one of his best friends and knows him too well. "Aah, I see", the dark haired boy says quietly with red cheeks and stands up. "I better go now.. I wanted to go to the pool and read some medical books..." He hurries out, leaving a confused James behind.

When Logan arrives at the crowded pool, he can see Kendall and Jo together again. And the only seat that is still free is next to theirs. Great. He is just about to turn around and go away when Jo shouts: "Hey Logan! Here's still an empty seat! Come here!" She waves with her arms as if Logan couldn't see her and her stupid brightly happy smile. He wants to refuse but this would make her suspicious because his towel, book and sunglasses totally show that he intended to chill at the pool. So after hesitating a little, he slowly goes to Jo and Kendall. They are only using one seat. Jo is sitting on Kendall's lap as his arms are slung around her waist. It feels like Logan's heart is torn apart into a ten thousand pieces. It feels like they tear out his organs. It feels... awful.

"Logan, are you not feeling well? Did something happen?", Jo asks worried when she sees Logan's expression on his face. "It... I'm fine..." He sits down. But Jo isn't a person who can just ignore it when other people are obviously not feeling fine.

"Um, Logan? Can we talk? Please.", she says firmly and stands up with her arm pointing to the lobby. Kendall looks up to her, surprised why she wants to talk to his friend alone. Logan hesitates at first but then he puts down his book and goes to the lobby with Jo.

When they sit down on the orange couch, Jo doesn't beat around the bush and asks Logan: "Are you in love with Kendall?" She looks sad when she speaks these words but also tired as if this has been bothering her for a long time. Logan on the other hand is really shocked. How does she know? Was it that obvious? He grabs the armrest and is not sure what to say, but he doesn't need to think about that because Jo can see in his eyes that she hit the bulls eye and continues to talk.

"So I see. I thought that you were in love with Kendall for quite some time. Actually this thought came up even before Kendall and I started to go out with each other. And honestly, can I tell you why I refused to go out with this boy so much?" She doesn't expect an answer but takes a deep breath. "It's because I thought that Kendall loves you. But he was so persistent about going out with me, I really thought that he meant it and I actually liked him. So someday I said 'yes'." Her eyes fill with tears but Logan somehow can't feel sorry for her.

"So I forgot about the doubts that I had because the first days were just awesome and I felt silly for thinking that Kendall was gay. But the more time passed, the more I heard him talk about you. And the more time passed, the more I saw you sad. Yeah, even someone from the distance could notice, Logan." Jo pauses for a moment again. "The thought that you two love each other became more and more to a fact. And now I ask you again: Did something happen? Between you and Kendall? It's so obvious. The hurt look you gave us and the fact that Kendall won't look at you and hasn't said one word today tell me everything." She looks straight into Logan's eyes. There is no way that he can escape from this situation. So he tells her everything because he is sick and tired of this and since she knows everything anyways, what difference does it make? He tells her about his realization of his feelings for his best friend and how he ignored him for three weeks and how hard that was. He tells her about the kiss they had and about the rejection he gets from Kendall. Just everything. When he looks up he can see Jo nodding. She doesn't look surprised at all. Logan can hear a loud sigh from her.

"So this is what happened. But I expected something like that, I have always seen this coming. And I can't say that this doesn't make me sad, because really, it does. But after all, everything I want is Kendall to be happy. He can't reach that state of happiness without you. And you have been so open about that to me so I will be open, too.", she smiles. "I think even if that thing between you and Kendall wouldn't be there, our relationship would never last long. We are nothing alike! He talks about hockey all the time and the only thing I talk about are TV shows and auditions. We don't have any topic we can talk about where we both say equally much. Also all the people who see us together think that we are siblings, which is really disturbing me. So the romantic feelings would have faded away one or another way." She smiles bravely, but Logan can see that Jo is still hurt in the inside. Suddenly he feels bad about the list that he made in his head ('reasons why I think you are dumb') since Jo isn't dumb or bad at all. She is just an amazing girl in whom Logan surely would've fallen for if he wasn't in love with Kendall.

"Okay, I'll talk to Kendall now." She stands up and walks through the door to Kendall to clear things up.

* * *

AN: Chapter five is going to be the second last chapter of TSI. I'm ending TSI pretty quickly because I don't really want to continue this fiction. So yeah, next chapter is the last one! And wow, it's a really long chapter for me!


	6. Chapter 6

_**Ten Second Illusion **_

-A Big Time Rush fanfiction-

**Chapter 6**

_Author's Note: So this is the last chapter of 'Ten Second Illusion'. Actually I planned to make it a lot longer and do some Kendall vs James action, but I don't really want to continue writing on this. And I'm sorry that it ends so aprubtly! There are still a lot of questions open, I know. Maybe I will write a sequel about James! MAYBE. Also I didn't read this fanfic once so there might be a lot of mistakes. I am just too tired and lazy._

_Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is owned by the rightful company. Not mine, unfortunately. _

Logan watches Jo walking towards Kendall. He watches how she sits down next to him, with a lifted head, smiling bravely. He watches how Kendall touches her arm with worried eyes. He watches Jo talking and Kendall widening his eyes. He watches how Jo's brave façade is crumbling away and how she burries her head in Kendall's chest and begins to cry silently. He watches how he, Logan Mitchell, destroyed a relationship. When Kendall looks at him, he can't read his expression. All he knows is that he has to leave this place because all of this is too much. Way too much.

Logan runs up to their apartment, to the room Kendall and he used to share. He knows that this isn't his room anymore, but he can't look into James' eyes right now. Also this scent. It's so familar. So comforting. So Kendall. He wishes he could turn back time. He wishes that he would just have beared with the pain instead of ignoring him. He wishes that he would have acted all normal, no matter how much this would have hurt. Kendall will probably be up there any second, ready to shout at Logan and give up their friendship forever. They will ignore each other and this will make the whole group break up. When imagining these scenarios, Logan burries his head deep into Kendall's pillow and lets out a loud moan.

"Exhausting day?"

Logan shoots up. When did Kendall come into their room? He sits up and looks at the floor, silently. When Kendall comes to him to sit down next to him, Logan startles a little and looks at his friend, curious at what will happen next.

"So you talked to Jo.", Kendall begins. Loagn nodds, looking away from the boy he loves.

After an awkward, silent break Kendall says:" I am not mad, you know. Just confused. How can she think that there was something going on between us?"

"Maybe because there was?" Logan mumbles, hoping that Kendall couldn't hear him, but he did. He blushes and they fall silent again.

"Maybe there is really something going on between us", Kendall says and lays his hand on Logan's.

He leans in and presses his lips onto the smaller boy's. Logan's eyes widen in shock and he is unable to realise what is going on right now. But after a few seconds, both of their tongues move rhythmicly. Logan lets out a moan again, a pleasant one this time. Kendall leans in further and further into his best friend until he is lying on top of him. Logan's brain, which can solve every logarithm and math excercise, can still not really process what is happening at the moment. Kendall is lying on top of him with his hands on both of his red cheeks and they are making out. _Making out. _How could this happen? But all that matters now is that that they are kissing and that it feels so fucking good. He places his arms around Kendall's neck and pushes him a little closer to him making his yet-to-be-boyfriend smile in their kiss. Kendall begins grinding his hips against Logan's, causing him to moan again.

Suddenly the door opens and Logan can hear a familiar voice say: "Hey Kendall have you seen Log-"

James looks shocked at the two teenage boys and leaves the room as quickly as he entered it.

"Oh no" Logan groans and burries his head into the pillow again.

"What..." Kendall says confused "Do you think he will hate us for being well, some kind of homosexuals?"

"No, well, uhm I think he has a crush on me..." Logan blushes. "Do you remember after you and I have talked, that I ran to James' room? Well, he was comforting me and somehow he ended up lying on top of me-"

"He WHAT?" Kendall screams.

"Jealous?", Logan smirks.

"Psh, no way. What happened next?" he asks moody.

"Well, I lifted my leg and then..." Logan has to blush again, but this time his face is darker than before. "then I felt something, ehm, hard. James told me that he was looking at those strange magazines before I came rushing in but it sounded like a lie..."

Kendall exhales relieved.

"So that's it, Logie?" He asks, smiling. "I don't think he was lying. Last week I came into his room and he was reading those magazines, how you call them, I call them porn magazines, and he was getting it off! This seems to be his hobby." Kendall laughs.

Logan isn't quite sure if he should believe Kendall, but he choses this as a more convenient way to deal with the situation and joins in laughing. All that matters right now is that Kendall and him get along with each other again. All that matters right now is that Kendall is kissing him. All that matters right now is that the two are laughing. All that matters is that Logan is happy again and so is Kendall.


End file.
